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Grand Rapids, MI

​Hi.  I'm Mike Dokter.  I've ridden the coat tails of others.  I hang out with people who are much more talented and much smarter than I am.  I consistently work to learn as much as I can from these people so I can help others along their journey as well.  

The Most Amazing Email Conversation Ever...

What I think...

The Most Amazing Email Conversation Ever...

Mike Dokter

Ok, so my good friend sent me this email earlier this week and it is epic.  It was a conversation he had with a perspective employee.  I have changed the names and "X"ed out any pertinent information.  I can assure you this is real and the man responsible is brilliant.  I have separated all email exchanges with dashes.  Scroll all the way down and read from the bottom.

Enjoy! 

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From: ‪< >

Date: Tue, Aug 20, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Craigslist Ad

To: Marc Keizer <>

Cc: < >

Steve, Lord of the OSHA compliant Hi-Lo and Overhead Crane Operators,

Now that I see your credentials and impeccable ability to predict my future dialogue, I am truly impressed. Your keen observations skills, albeit unnoticed from prior conversations - due to the lack of ability to decipher the compensation of a craigslist ad, are clearly among the best I have seen and deserve much more than a lousy $8/hr job. You are clearly one of the chosen elect who deserve at least $13.25. I am also delightfully stunned by your job market analysis. I would have pegged similar jobs anywhere from $11/hr - $13.75/hr but you clearly have me beat with your sensational analytical gift. Although I am moved by your amazing talents and have considered starting a religion to praise your very name, of which I have shortened to an easy-to-remember acronym, SLOTOSHACHLOCO (Steve, Lord of the OSHA Complient Hi-Lo and Overhead Crain Operators}, I see that I cannot offer anything that will match such magnificence. I hope that at some time in the not-to-far millennia that I will be able to offer a trite reward that would attract such talent. For now, we will have to stick with those appreciative souls with lesser skill sets who gratefully accept a full time job and can at least read simple craigslist ads, but have not mastered the art of Crane or Hi-Lo maneuverance. 

John

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Please do not post an ad on Craigslist for a job that easily gets compensated with anywhere from $11/h -$13.50/h via other companies. Right now, with your lousy $8/h offer, you're actually offering lower than what most temporary agencies compensate per hour for general labor jobs. 
You're asking for someone with keen observation skills, superb organization skills, speed and agility. And for those that carry an OSHA hilo license, and had been trained in over head crane operations? Such skills warrant some sort of incentive, wouldn't you think?
You'll probably come back saying that this job doesn't require such licenses or experience with a crane. You'll probably say you offer an excellent benefits package. That's all good and what not, but the better the package the more that is taken out of the eight dollar an hour check. Unless of course the company pays the majority, but I highly doubt that.

Make me want this job and well go from there,


Steve

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From: craigslist  < >;

To: <>;

Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

Sent: Tue, Aug 20, 2013 11:00:46 PM

   

Steve, 

   

Please do not respond to Craigslist job postings with another job offer. If you   would like to offer an ass kissing position that pays 8 dollars an hour,   please do so elsewhere. 

   

John

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On Aug 20, 2013 6:44 PM, <>wrote:

              

You can kiss my ass for eight dollars an hour

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From: craigslist  <>  

 

To: <>

 

Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

 

Sent: Mon, Aug 19, 2013 2:52:58 PM

 

Hello Steve,

Thank you for replying to our craigslist ad for the Quality Inspector position. This position pays $8.00 / hr and is full time, unless part time is requested. 

I am looking for people that can sort small automotive parts with both speed and accuracy. I would like for you to come in and take a capabilities test that will evaluate both your speed and accuracy. I would like for you to come in on Tuesday, August 20th at 10:00am to take the test. It will take about 30 minutes to complete. Please respond to [...} and let me know if that works for you.

The name of our company is xxxx. We are located in xxx close to the xxx on xxx and xxx. You can find our address below. 

I look forward to seeing you soon!

John