The First Step in Tackling a Difficult Problem
A friend came to me recently and said, “Dude, I have a huge problem.” (I always get excited when things like this happen because most problems aren’t that huge).
“Dude, seriously…I think my wife is cheating on me.”
Ok, well you have my attention. This is obviously more intense than, “Dude, the store was out of my favorite beer and now I don’t have any for the game.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“I don’t know, I just get this feeling. She’s always texting at night…etc”
You know the story. Plenty of guys are guilty of the same thing. This blog post is not about handling a cheating spouse. It is about addressing problems properly when they are real problems and what to do first.
Most of us forget that people behave the way they do towards us out of reaction, not initial action. This means that most likely we (or someone else) have done something that prompted the context of whatever person or problem we are encountering.
So how do we begin to address or solve our problems? Well, after we have our freak out moment (we all do it, don’t tell me you don’t because I’ll call shenanigans in a heartbeat), we need to take a step back and gain some perspective.
Ask yourself 2 questions:
Is there anything I did that could have caused this situation?
Is there anything else that’s not close to me that could have contributed?
Asking the right questions will help you open the doors to actually making progress. Without the proper perspective, we risk developing short sighted solutions that don’t actually do anything.
Stop. Breathe. Realize the problem is probably you or a result of something you did. Take responsibility. Rise above. Develop a plan. Act.